Bats and Baby Bottles
by adorable pragmatism
Summary: (Baby!Damian-verse): After the discovery of some shocking information on a Team mission, Bruce is dealing with having an infant son, Dick is getting used to having a baby brother, and the rest of the Team is hoping they don't get asked to babysit because that kid sure can bite.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: (if you're wondering where Zatanna and Rocket are, since this is supposed to be set after Auld Acquaintance, then umm… shhh don't ask these questions shhhh)

* * *

"Looks like another dead end," Wally said, kicking a small piece of rubble. It bounced towards the huge, crumbled mess of metal and cement that used to be one of the Light's secret labs, according to their intel.

The Team had split up upon arrival, and he and Dick were scouring this side of the wreckage for clues. Their results were looking bleak so far.

"They know we're onto them," said Dick. He was crouched down, peering through gaps between the larger blocks of rubble. "Destroying all the evidence to throw us off the path… But we're getting closer." He crawled over to a different pile of rocks, discerning eyes trained near the ground for some hint of… _something_. Wally wasn't sure what Dick was looking for, honestly. "We only missed them by a few hours."

"But we still missed them. Again." Wally shifted through some rubble in a half-hearted attempt of searching, though the only thing he was accomplishing was making a mess. "Do you think we're ever going to find the real Roy? I mean, it's been months, and if the Light knows we're trying to find him, what's stopping them from…?" He gulped, unable to finish that sentence. His throat felt very dry suddenly and he told himself it was from the dust in the air.

"KF, I think I found something!"

"Really?" He was at Dick's side in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, help me move some of these blocks." They pushed and pulled the heavy, broken chunks of cement out of the way, exposing a small hole that led down into the ground. It was dark down there.

"There," Dick said breathlessly. They were both sweating and panting from the heavy lifting. Dick dropped to his knees, then took out a small flashlight and shone it into the entrance. "I think it leads to the basement; the way the rubble fell sort of kept it intact. But it doesn't look very stable. Could collapse any minute."

"Well, what're we waiting for?" asked Wally.

Dick grinned back at him and looped some rope around the largest block of cement nearby. He tugged the line a couple times to make sure it was properly anchored, then rappelled down into the dark. Wally waited for Dick's call that the coast was clear before he followed.

Dick had his flashlight aimed forwards, ahead through the tunnel, so the lighting was dim around Wally and the first thing he did was bang his shin hard against a jutting rock.

He hissed a swear under his breath, then limp-scurried after Dick. They were in a partly caved-in hallway—at some points Wally had to stoop to get through—that got roomier and less damaged as they went along, and ended in a door.

"We've come this far," Dick said, jimmying the knob. It clicked and the door groaned ominously as it opened. Wally clenched his eyes shut, hoping the entire place wouldn't collapse.

It didn't, and he let out a breath of relief as he stepped inside after Dick. The room used to be a computer lab of some kind. A control centre. There were machines, heavy-duty computers, large electronics. Most were smashed or melted beyond salvaging, but the way this room had fortunately been sheltered meant that a few were still in good condition.

"Jackpot!" Dick whispered gleefully.

"They must've have wiped all the data before they left, though," Wally said skeptically, crossing his arms. He didn't see how this was anything but yet another dead end. Dick quickly radioed the rest of the Team about their discovery and then booted up the holographic computer built into his glove. The pale blue light mingled with the beam of the flashlight, illuminating more of the room.

"I have an app for that," Dick said, turning one of the computers around to look for a port. "Actually, it's more like an incredibly powerful, illegal virus that can recover deleted info, no matter how completely they think they deleted it. Just a little something I've been working on."

Wally rolled his eyes at his bragging friend. Dick took no notice, too absorbed in his computer-wizardry.

A minute passed, and Dick was muttering under his breath as he typed. He scowled in disappointment. "I can only recover a few files," he said. "Here's hoping they tell us something useful." He tapped his glove and text unfurled onscreen.

"What is it? What does it say?" asked Wally. Dick shushed him and kept reading.

"We were right. There's major League of Shadows involvement in the Roy case. This is one of their labs." Dick paused, opened another file. "And there's more… They were working on something…"

His sentence tailed off. His masked eyes widened and his mouth hung open in horror at what he was reading.

"Rob, what's the big deal? Tell me!" Curiosity was gnawing away at Wally. He wanted to know what was making Dick stare wide-eyed into empty air and his hands tremble in shock.

"I— It's— No, it _can't_… It's totally impossible. She _wouldn't_."

"_Who_ wouldn't?"

"I shouldn't…" He bit his lip, took a deep breath through his nose. "I need to talk to Batman," he said firmly.

"What?" Wally asked. But Dick was already rushing out the door, back through the hallway and up to the surface, while Wally tailed after him and kept asking him over and over, "_What's going on?"_

And on the way back to the Bio-Ship, Dick kept telling him, kept telling _all of them_— because the rest of the Team was just as curious over what had him so agitated—that he couldn't explain, that he had to talk to Batman.

As they flew home, he fidgeted in his seat and seemed really shaken, which was strange for the usually unshakeable Robin. "Sorry," he told them for the dozenth time, "but… it's— it's personal, kind of. I need to talk to Batman first. It has nothing to do with Roy, I promise."

Robin did talk to Batman when they returned to Mount Justice. Privately.

They didn't see Robin for over a week after that, and when he came back he brushed off their questions. Gotham business, he said. It was his typical explanation.

They were used to him and his secrets. A few more missions went by, and soon they stopped prying and forgot about it.

* * *

"Rob. Hey, Rob!" Wally shook his friend by the shoulder to wake him up.

"Whuh?" Dick asked groggily. His chin slipped out of where it rested in the palm of his hand and that made him jolt in his seat, startled. He blinked behind his sunglasses, then straightened up and looked around at the rest of his team staring back at him.

It was a Thursday, and for the Team that meant an evening lesson from one of the older heroes of the Justice League. That week their instructor was Superman. It used to be really awkward having him teach them before, back when he and Conner didn't get along and Conner would spend the entire hour and a half fuming in the back while Clark did his best to avoid making eye contact with his clone, but nowadays the atmosphere was a lot more pleasant.

Superman was supposed to be teaching them about morals and the Justice League's role in maintaining peace and order, but instead it had turned into "story time with Clark", and he'd been telling them about his first encounter with Lex Luthor when he was interrupted by snores coming from the youngest member of the Team.

"You were sleeping," Wally told Dick. "_Snoring_."

"Oh. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to, Superman. I'm just—" His sentence was broken by a loud yawn. "I'm just really tired."

"Were you out late on patrol last night?" Clark asked, not seeming offended that Dick had fallen asleep during his story.

"No, it's not from patrol," said Dick, yawning again and stretching his arms up until his joints popped. "Gotham's actually been really quiet lately. It's because of the baby."

There was a stunned pause, and then...

"Baby?" Artemis and M'gann demanded in unison, both completely dumbstruck.

Artemis had been slouching and leaning back so far in her chair that she nearly tipped over in surprise and only just caught herself from falling backwards. M'gann clapped a hand over her mouth from shock, and her eyes were beginning to gleam in excitement at the news. Conner just sat there silently, looking lost for how to react.

Wally and Clark exchanged knowing looks and smug smiles.

Even Kaldur was taken aback. His eyes widened in disbelief. "We… We were not aware that you had siblings."

"Yeah, it's a recent development. Happened really suddenly."

"Robin, hasn't Batman given you _the talk_? Babies don't just drop out of thin air," Artemis pointed out.

He shrugged unconcernedly. "This one did, in a way."

"But… isn't Batman your father?" M'gann asked hesitantly. That was the general consensus among the team members that didn't know his ID. They had never outright asked because they knew he wasn't allowed to tell them about his civilian life, and he had never confirmed or denied it. But the way the two acted around each other, how much they obviously cared for and respected each other, made it easy to assume they were family. "Does that mean… the baby's father is…?"

"It's… It's really complicated," Dick said. "I probably shouldn't have let the baby thing slip, but I figured it was only a matter of time before you found out…" And he threw a slightly accusing glance at Wally, who stifled a laugh behind his hand. "Anyways, sorry about interrupting, Superman."

"No, it's fine, Robin," Clark assured him. He looked slightly amused at the lingering confusion on most of the teens' faces as he continued his story about defeating Lex Luthor.

And afterwards, Superman went to the zeta tubes, saying he had someone to talk to, and Dick went to his bedroom in the Cave to take a nap without being woken up by a baby's crying for once.

That left Wally in a room with four people looking for answers. They didn't advance on him threateningly, but they did all turn towards him expectantly. He definitely felt cornered and was considering running away because that fierce look in Artemis's eyes had never boded well for him in the past.

Artemis grabbed him by the front of his shirt's collar and yanked him close enough that their noses almost touched. "West, you know something you're not telling. _Spill_."

* * *

Bruce was sitting in front of the computer in the Batcave, scrolling through case files, when Clark arrived. Bruce didn't acknowledge him at first. Clark stood on the platform and waited for a full minute until Bruce finished reading the document and deigned to turn his chair around and give Clark a sliver of his time.

Sitting on Bruce's lap was a dark-haired baby in blue pajamas, almost a year old.

Bruce glared at Clark. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Give me that look."

"What look?" Clark asked innocently, fully aware that he was still wearing the exact look that was irritating Bruce. It was called _smiling_.

Bruce just glared again but its effectiveness was weakened by Damian snuggling closer and burying his face against his father's chest. Bruce was wearing a dark sweatshirt instead of the cold, armored top half of his uniform.

"I'm just surprised that you brought Damian down to the cave."

"Alfred had errands to run, and I have work to do."

"You could have left him in his crib."

"He was crying," Bruce explained tersely, tiring of this conversation already. "What do you want, Clark?"

He wanted Bruce to admit that having a baby had changed him, that he had a soft spot that was growing by the day, but that admission was too much to expect. Bruce was too stubborn for that.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing," said Clark. "Dick seemed exhausted today—he fell asleep once during my lesson with the Team."

"I don't blame him," Bruce deadpanned.

"You look tired, too," Clark commented, cheerfully ignoring that jab. Bruce had darker circles under his eyes than usual, and was a tad grumpier. "You know you have a whole league of people fighting over who gets to babysit first, right?"

Bruce grunted dismissively. He was as fiercely protective of his infant son—both of his sons, actually, but Damian couldn't defend himself like Dick could—as he was of his cave, or his identity, or his other secrets. _More_ protective. Clark figured it would be months before he let someone babysit.

Clark looked from the glowing computer screens to Bruce. "Has Talia called you yet?"

"No."

Clark didn't miss how Bruce's hand went up and cupped the back of Damian's head protectively.

"Do you know what you're going to tell her when she does?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Bruce said calmly. Too calmly. That scary kind of calm that meant he was hiding seething annoyance just under the surface.

"Bruce…"

"I appreciate your concern, but it's something I'll deal with on my own."

"All right. But if you need my help, all you have to do is ask."

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Bruce asked with an air of finality. Clark nodded. "Good. Now, if you'll leave… I think Damian's ready to go to bed."

Clark smiled to himself, struggled not to chuckle because even though Bruce pretended to be dark and emotionless, he was a good father. "Sure, no problem. I'll see you later. Bye, Bruce. Bye, Damian."

Bruce's eyes narrowed, and Clark swore that the baby's eyes narrowed in an identical manner. It was frightening. "Clark, what did I tell you about that look?" Bruce asked in displeasure.


	2. Chapter 2

Artemis knew that if her mom found out she had two boys in her bedroom, there would be hell to pay.

The three of them were just talking, but the simple fact that there were _boys_ in her _bedroom—_especially since one was her sort-of-boyfriend—while her mom wasn't home was probably enough to get her grounded until next fall.

They had been hanging out in the park earlier, until the sleet started coming down and the wind picked up—she could hear it blowing against her window—and they sought shelter in her nearby apartment building. So now Wally and Robin were in her home. It wasn't like they could all go hang out in the Batcave, with Robin's identity still being hush-hush.

The others had already made themselves comfortable. Wally had taken the desk chair and Robin was lounging on her sister's bed with his hands under his head. Even with the sunglasses, she could tell his gaze was aimed at the Alice in Wonderland poster on the wall. That made her stomach twist and knot up. She was always telling herself she should take that poster down.

Artemis shoved away the self-consciousness—these were her _friends_—and focused on trying to pry more information about the baby from Robin.

Robin snorted when she asked him about it. "Oh, come on. Don't pretend like motormouth over there—" He waved a hand in Wally's direction. "—didn't already tell you everything."

"He didn't, actually," Artemis said, stretching her legs out to loosen a cramp. She was sitting on the floor, her back resting against the side of her bed. "We tried to wrestle the info out of him—"

"_Literally_," Wally added indignantly, rubbing at his shoulder like it still hurt. Drama queen. Conner hadn't twisted his arm _that_ hard.

"…But he kept his mouth shut," Artemis finished.

"Because I'm a good friend," Wally said proudly.

"You just liked having a secret to hold over us."

"Hey, you should be nicer to the guy who holds the fate of your chemistry grade in his hands." He patted the science notes on the desk and raised an eyebrow at her, smug.

"I'll do fine without your help," she said carelessly. "I'll just have to spend more time studying and less time hanging out with you. No big deal."

Wally opened his mouth to respond, then promptly shut it—_good, he's learning_, Artemis thought wryly—and went back to reading through her old chemistry tests, his face flushed.

He was the one who offered to make her a foolproof study plan after hearing about her complain about the class. Artemis wasn't forcing him to do anything for her. This was one perk to dating a science genius. Plus, he owed her for helping him with history last week.

"How's Batman dealing with having a baby?" Artemis asked Robin.

Robin laughed quietly. "I think it took a while to really hit him, and when it did he was freaked out. But he already loves D." That was what Robin called the baby around them, just _D_. He must have noticed the startled face Artemis made after hearing about Batman and _love, _because he said, "I know what you're thinking, but Batman's actually good with kids, surprisingly. We always have a hard time getting the kids he's saved to let go of him after."

"Really," Artemis said, her tone flat with disbelief.

"Really," confirmed Robin. "I dunno—even though he has no idea how to act around them, little kids like him a lot for some reason."

"I'm just having trouble picturing Batman feeding a baby and changing diapers." It didn't help that she could only picture him doing the tasks in his full Batman costume, cape and cowl and body armor.

"They have someone for that," said Wally without looking up from Artemis's notebook.

"We help, too!" Robin objects.

"So you have like… a Bat-nanny?" asked Artemis.

"Sort of."

A sudden surge of wind rattled the windowpanes. Artemis glanced out the window—from her spot on the floor she could see a slice of grey sky, growing greyer by the minute. It was a gross, blustery afternoon out there. She wondered when her mom would be home. Now that she thought about mothers_…_

"I know I'm not supposed to ask this," said Artemis, "but I'm going to anyway: Who's the mom? Is she in the picture?"

Robin was hesitant to give the answer. He gnawed on his thumbnail. Fiddled with the drawstring of his sweater's hood. Stalled. "Well… the thing about the mom is that… she's… Talia al Ghul."

Artemis almost choked on the gum she was chewing. "Talia? _Al Ghul?" _she asked hoarsely, between coughs. "As in, daughter of _Ra's_ al Ghul?"

"As in, heiress to the al Ghul legacy and the League of Shadows, international criminal, and major enemy of the Justice League?" Robin continued tonelessly. "Yeah, her."

"But then— that means— She and Batman, they… Oh my god!" she exclaimed in horror. "_Together?_ In a_ bed—?"_

Robin groaned and reached underneath his glasses to press his palms against his eyes, like he was trying to block out the image. "Artemis, no. Disturbing imagery, heavy on the dis. Stop. _Please_."

"Seriously, Rob—were they actually _together_ like that?" asked Wally. He didn't seem at all surprised about the identity of the mother. So he _had_ known.

"Uh… I don't know? Maybe? I'm really trying not to think about it, thanks. I know they were making out all over the place about a year ago, but that's not how D uh… came to be." Artemis and Wally looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain further. He sighed and said quickly, "Long story short, Talia got some of Batman's DNA, mixed it with hers, and genetically-engineered herself a perfect baby with the same tech they used to make Conner and Roy."

"Does the fact that D was created in a test tube make the idea of Batman reproducing easier to deal with?" Wally teased.

"Yes," Robin said immediately. "You have no idea how much easier. And you know what makes it even _easier_? Not talking about it. I mean, I love D. He's part of the family now. But I'd rather not be reminded about where babies usually come from."

Artemis's eyes sought out Wally's across the room and the two of them grinned wickedly.

"Sex!" they shouted at Robin in unison.

Robin clapped his hands over his ears dramatically and curled into a fetal position, whining like he was in pain. "Noo! _Sto-op!" _he fake-sobbed. With all the computer-hacking and death-defying, sometimes Artemis forgot how young Robin was.

The room seemed very quiet when their laughter died off, but it was a comfortable quiet, listening to the bitter wind howl outside while being warm indoors together.

"So…" said Artemis eventually, when she got bored of of the silence and doing nothing but watch her own toes wiggle. "Why'd Talia want a baby with Batman, anyway?"

Robin sat up on the bed and shrugged. "They've got this whole obsession with heirs and legacies. I don't even pretend to understand the al Ghuls. Like, Ra's used to think Batman was the only person worthy of being his heir. But no way that he would ever join Ra's. Ever." He was quiet for a moment, staring into empty space and thinking. "Talia could've done it out of love, in a sort of messed up way. Because she loved Batman. Or still loves him. He had some… feelings for her, too, I'm pretty sure." He briefly wrinkled his nose in distaste. Then he said quietly, "I don't understand Batman all the time, either."

"And she just let you guys take the kid when you asked? Just like that?"

He shrugged and stumbled through an explanation about there being unrest between the al Ghuls. Something had Talia and Ra's at odds, but it was clear that Robin didn't know the full picture.

"Batman didn't let me go confront Talia with him, so I don't know exactly what they said to each other. But she let him walk away with the baby."

"You don't think… she's going to try to make another one in secret, do you?" Wally asked, spinning the desk chair around and looking away from Artemis's chem notes. "Like, trial and error. Maybe D was a prototype and she'll try to make the next even more perfect."

"I don't know," Robin said in that bleak voice that let them know that was exactly what he was afraid of. He drew his knees up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "For now, we can't let Talia get her hands on him again. She never hugged him, you know. Never even really held him. She was going to turn him into an assassin. Warp him and raise him to think that killing is the right thing to do. He's just a kid and she was going to make him murder people." He rested his chin against his arms and mumbled into his sleeve, "And it gets worse."

"Dude, _worse_?" Wally asked worriedly. So he hadn't know _everything_, Artemis noted.

"You know how when Roy and Conner were cloned, they were programmed by those psychic G-nomes?"

"Yes…" Wally said, brow furrowing as he began to realize where Robin was going with this. Artemis figured it out faster.

"_No," _she said emphatically, looking up at Robin and hoping that he'd deny it. He didn't.

"I guess it's a little bit different than what happened to them, but not by much… She got them to go into his head to make his mind develop a certain way, right from birth. So that he'd become exactly like she wanted. Ideals, beliefs, personality traits… The perfect son for her."

"She turned him evil?" asked Wally, appalled.

"He's not evil! He's just a baby. Babies can't be evil," said Robin indignantly. "J'onn took most of the bad things out of his head, but couldn't reverse everything. D's mind was too impressionable. He's going to be a little different than other kids. Smarter, for one thing. He's already super smart. We can tell."

"Uncle B didn't tell me that part. That's just…" Wally made a repulsed face. He looked a little sickened, his skin paler underneath his freckles. "That's her _kid_. I can't believe someone would do that to their own kid."

Artemis was the opposite. She had absolutely no trouble believing it.

"Some people will do anything to force their kids to be exactly like them," she said matter-of-factly. She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth—they hung heavily in the air between the three of them. Robin was frowning and Wally was looking at her with too-soft concern.

Wally started saying something, only to have her shush him. She cocked her head to the side, listening, because she thought she heard… Yep. She did.

It was a sound that she had conditioned herself to hear in all those years she lived with her dad—the click and scrape of a key turning the lock of the front door.

She swore under her breath.

Robin, smart kid, had disappeared out the window by the time Artemis turned around, but Wally was lagging.

"One sec, almost done!" he muttered, rapidly scribbling the last few lines of the study plan for her.

"Just go!" she insisted, dragging him out of the chair by the back of his collar. "Get out of here!"

He kissed her quickly on his way across the room to the window. A swift, fleeting peck that grazed her lips for only a fraction of a second. "Call me later?"

"Go!" she whispered frantically, giving him a kick in the rear as he climbed through the window to get him out of her room faster because her mom was already in the kitchen and calling her to help with the groceries.

* * *

"If I'd known sooner I would have baked something!" M'gann said, wringing her hands. She floated back and forth around the kitchen, opening cupboards and searching through them, then closing them abruptly and becoming more distressed.

Robin called just a few minutes ago to tell them that, after a month or more of asking and bugging and begging, Batman finally caved and gave him permission to bring the baby over to Mount Justice to meet the rest of the Team. The short amount of notice had M'gann flustered and rushing around the common area to make it ready for their new visitor.

"I made some brownies yesterday, do you think that's fine or should I—"

"They're all gone," Conner told her.

"Oh," M'gann said with so much disappointment that everyone fidgeted and tried to hide the guilty looks on their faces. "Do any of you know what human babies like to eat?" she asked, taking a bag of pretzels off a shelf and considering it. "I haven't had a chance to look it up."

Kaldur and Conner shook their heads and looked to Artemis. She looked to Wally.

"Animal crackers and apple juice?" Wally suggested with a shrug. "Except D's a Bat. He's like his own species. Instead of animal crackers he probably devours crackers in the shapes of his enemies."

"Robin's here," said Conner. Less than a minute later their teammate was walking through the door.

"Hey, everybody," Robin said. He was carrying a grouchy, chubby-faced baby against his side with one arm. The baby he'd been talking about for weeks now. Batman's baby.

There was no cape or bat ears, or whatever they expected. He looked like a completely normal baby, with big blue eyes and soft, feathery black hair. His skin was a slightly deeper olive tone than Robin's or what little they had seen of Batman's. The only resemblance that they could find between the baby and Batman was the frown. That was Batman's frown, no doubt about it. The same one they dreaded seeing after botched missions, the frown that filled them with heavy shame and made their eyes find their feet.

D was barely a year old and he was _scowling_. One look at his face made it impossible to question who the father was.

"I'm guessing you picked his sweater," Wally said to Robin, amused. It was pale yellow with a tiny bat logo across the front. "No mask, though?"

"We made him one, but he didn't like it," said Robin. "Kept whining and trying to scratch it off."

"I was kidding," Wally said flatly.

"He's adorable," was M'gann's verdict. She clasped her hands together and beamed at the baby. "Does he talk?"

Robin nodded. "A bit."

"Can you say _Robin_?" M'gann asked D with a bright smile.

He just looked at her blankly. He made a condescending _-tt- _noise and then turned away and buried his face in Robin's shoulder, making it obvious that he didn't care much for any of them and would rather have them leave.

"He talks," said Robin. "Just not much."

"Too busy _judging_ all of us," said Artemis. "That's totally what he's doing."

"He seems very… aware," remarked Kaldur, attempting to put Artemis's opinion more politely.

The baby was watching them as intently as they were watching him, with an unusual clarity and intelligence behind his eyes. His gaze was so intense and unblinking that several of them had to look away, nervous.

"Can I hold him?" asked M'gann hopefully.

"Sure. If I can just get him to—" Robin tried to hand the baby over, but D was holding on to his ear tightly. "_Ow_! Jeez, D. Let go? Please?"

"Does he have a strong grip?" Kaldur asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe," said Robin, managing to gently pry D's hand from his ear and pass him to M'gann. He rubbed his ear and winced. "Also sharp fingernails."

"I— I don't think he's very happy," M'gann said as he squirmed in her arms and hit her with his tiny fists. He reached towards Robin with a demanding look in his eyes.

Robin sighed tiredly as he took the child back from M'gann. D immediately latched on to Robin's ear again, making him wince even more.

"So, if his mother is Talia al Ghul, but she isn't yours, does that means he's your half-brother?" M'gann asked curiously. "Is that how Earth families work?"

Robin gave a noncommittal hum in reply. "That's confidential, sorry." D was scowling again, and batted at Robin's face with a tiny hand. Robin smiled warmly down at him. "But, no matter the circumstances… He's my brother."

Conner wrinkled his nose. "He smells bad."

The smile immediately dropped off of Robin's face. "Guess he needs to be changed. Great," he said unenthusiastically, picking up the diaper bag he'd brought with him and left on the kitchen counter, then slung it over his shoulder and left to go change the baby's diaper.

M'gann floated after him. "Do you want me to help?"

"Please do."

"Are we supposed to go help, too?" asked Conner after they left.

"I'm not helping," Artemis said firmly.

"Me either," said Wally.

Kaldur looked down the hallway as though considering it, but ended up crossing his arms and turning away—he was also reluctant to help change a diaper. "… I believe two will be sufficient."

* * *

D settled down after about fifteen minutes of throwing whatever was in reach at Conner, who seemed to be his favourite target for some strange reason. Because of him, there was popcorn scattered all over the floor and in the couch cushions.

Meeting new people (and throwing things at them) had tired the baby out. He was sitting on Robin's lap, dozing off, with his hands fisted in the warm fabric of the older boy's sweater. No one was really watching the movie playing on the TV—they were watching the baby.

"You know, he's actually a cute little guy. I thought he'd be more vicious," said Wally. He reached out to poke D in the belly button. "Who's a cute little bat?" he asked in a cutesy voice.

D's eyes and mouth opened at the same time. There was a flash of movement, and then Wally yelped in pain and quickly drew his hand back, clutching it protectively. He let loose a swear, causing several disapproving glares to be aimed in his direction because he said a bad word_ in front of the baby_.

"He bit me!" exclaimed Wally, waving his hand through the air so they could see the offended finger as proof.

"He's a baby," said Robin. Instead of scolding D, he hugged him tighter. Wally was calling it right here and now: that kid was going to grow up to be a spoiled terror. "He does stuff like that. Get over it."

Wally examined the faint red puncture marks on his index finger. "I think I'm _bleeding_."

"Wally, he only has three teeth," M'gann pointed out.

"Three razor-sharp teeth. Sure he's not a _vampire_ bat?" He looked back down at his finger, then waved it in their faces even more insistently so they could see the tiny bead of blood forming. "No, look—I'm actually bleeding!"

But Wally's complaints were largely ignored because D, looking very pleased with himself, smiled for the first time since he arrived at Mount Justice and no one else had eyes for anything but him.

* * *

Robin took a quick bathroom break halfway through the movie, leaving D sitting on the sofa propped up with a couple of cushions, since he refused to be held by anyone else.

While Robin was gone, Artemis felt something brush against her arm and looked down.

That was kind of cute. D had scooted over and was using her hair as a pillow, nestled up against it. She slowly, hesitantly—since she hadn't forgotten what happened to Wally—moved her hand and patted him softly on the head. And that's when she noticed.

"Hey! He's chewing on my hair!" Artemis exclaimed in protest, tugging her ponytail away from the slumbering baby's mouth.

Mistake.

His eyes went big, his lower lip started wobbling, and then the wailing happened. Artemis's teammates looked at her accusingly.

"What?" she asked defensively, over D's crying.

"You have upset him," said Kaldur, looking at the child with concern.

"He was trying to eat my ponytail. I did him a favour—that can't be good for him." And _ugh,_ now her hair had drool on it.

"Oh, he's being so loud," M'gann said sadly. She scooped him up in his arms and tried to soothe him, but that only succeeded in making him cry louder. "Shh… No, it's okay. Don't—"

"I leave for _two minutes_…" Robin said exasperatedly, walking back into the living room. "Give him here."

"He's not stopping," Artemis said as Robin tried and failed to quiet the baby. She felt a twinge of guilt for being the one to set him off.

"Yeah, he's probably just cranky. It's been a big day. I should take him home." Robin collected his things while talking to and rocking D, still trying to calm him down. He stopped at the doorway. "I actually think this went pretty well—D needs to get used to being around different people. I'll talk to Batman about next time."

"Right. Next time. Looking forward to that." Artemis was already dreading the thought of baby-sitting, and she knew she wasn't the only one.


End file.
